I even went thru a solid 2 year plateau where I was disgusted by half the girls at the bar and didn’t want to waste my time talking to them but would have to to wing a buddy or build some social momentum. The irony of course was that I couldn’t fake interest in the ugly girls and they would pick up on that in my subcomms and to preserve their ego they would reject me before I could reject them so then I’d be getting shot down by a girl I didn’t even want to fuck in the first place lol
It was a VERY frustrating time for me but it was an important lesson to learn about genuinely taking an interest in people and giving value rather than just going thru the motions to get what you want and viewing people as “what value will I get from investing my energy in this person, is it worth it for me?”
Now I make a conscious effort to socialize with everyone, young old guy girl ugly hot rich poor high status low status, doesn’t matter, I’ll make them feel good just because I know now that it feels good to spread good vibes. I still fall back into bad habits now and then, especially at the start of the night after I’ve been working all day and I’m not in a fun social mood, but once I’m flowing out in field I’ll talk to anyone and make them feel like a special snowflake just because I want everyone else to have a good night too.
On Mystery’s VH1 PUA show he takes the boys to a bingo hall to teach them that they should be able to use their new social skills to make everyone feel good, even people they aren’t trying to fuck.
Step 1 is learning to make people feel special.
Step 2 is enjoying making people feel special.
Step 3 is believing people are special.
A lot of guys here post with very negative judgemental attitudes toward women that give away exactly what kind of success they likely really have when they’re out.
RSDJulien puts it best…to paraphrase: if you went out to a bar tonight and there were NO hot girls there, just ugly gross fat chicks and old women and dudes, and you weren’t allowed to leave so you had to spend 4 hours there: could you still legitimately have fun and make other people have fun with you?
What really helped me and started getting me more results was to take pressure off of myself. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but….I focused less on trying to come off like a player/pimp/whatever and instead focused on just trying to have fun with whoever I was with. Not even necessarily getting laid…like maybe take a number and hang out but nothing too aggressive.
When I let go and started doing that, -that’s- when more girls started thinking I was a player/pimp lol. Take the pressure off yourself. That’s really what outcome independence is all about. You don’t have to fuck this or that chick you’re talking to to have a good interaction. Just try to add value wherever you go and opportunities will start presenting themselves.
Early 30s, and all over. I’ve had young virgins (under 21) and older virgins (mid/late 20s). The older ones usually had some kind of bad experience with sex (usually rape) when they were young and have a shit-ton of unwiring to do to get them to be comfortable with sex. The young ones don’t have a clue wtf they’re doing and are huge fucking projects to teach and not worth the effort to me because it’s not like being a virgin magically makes them quality girlfriend/mother/relationship material in all other aspects.
Fuck a few of them and you realize they’re just like any other girls.
Yes x 1000. idk more and more convinced that not caring about this stuff is a huge edge in the game, judging by how many commenters here are all scurred.