When someone makes fun of you or tries
to tool you, view it as an opportunity. Honestly, when you learn to just fucking laugh in their faces….you will realize how silly all of the ‘OMG AMOG BRO WTF’ zero sum thinking is.
Like, to engage you at all means you are viewed as a threat/challenge/contender.
A girl giving you shit is viewing you as a contender.
But when they do this, what are they hoping for?
To find another lame dude who buckles under social pressure?
To find another lame chode who can’t handle a WOMAN, of all things, giving him shit?
Dude, they want you to succeed.
They want to go “finally, another cool dude to hang with and be around.”
It’s hard to wrap your mind around and so yeah, it’s easy to think of it at first as ‘omg zero sum game everyone out for self!”
But it isn’t. It’s imitation. Can you hang? Can you not? if so, cool WELCOME TO THE GROUP, GLAD YOU MADE IT.
Most dudes are never going to get there, they don’t even know that there’s a there, there.
You’re in the game.
But it’s just a fucking game, dude.
but i also now understand that 99.99999999% of dudes DO NOT have what it takes to actually improve.
like, dudes worry about “omg everyone will have game now lol!”
and i’m just like nah.
most everyone will stay +/- 10% of where they are.
to truly change yourself takes willpower like you would not believe.
here’s an analogy. let’s take losing weight.
most americans are overweight or obese, so it’s pertinent.
there’s a huge amount of social pressure to be a fat fuck, just like there’s a lot of social pressure to ‘stay in your lane’ sexually.
so how much weight can people take off and keep off more or less permanently?
People who go from OBESE to just ‘thin’ are like….a 1/1000 proposition. (No i am not shitting you, that’s the real deal).
People who go from OBESE to “‘fit and muscular and ripped” (like me!) are even rarer.
I once had a girl in college tell me “You know nothing about women. You will never date. You’ll be lucky if some woman decides to settle for you and get married.”
I’m fucking proud of the fact that I lost my virginity from a cold approach – a chick seven years younger than me, still in college, that I met for 30 seconds on public transportation on my way home from sarging.
This. That I agree with. When I’m working all I see going on around me is the natural order of things – high status, well built, largely well dressed (or consciously dressed) men with a modicum of social intelligence pick up, Game and take home the most desirable women by order of degrees.
I’ve been doing what I do for almost 25 years now and by and large THIS is what I see in the field.
Witnessing guys with Game, who go against what you’d expect a woman would respond to are the exception. Very few guys run Game in the sense that PUA presents it. Fewer still make it effective.
I do see it, and as you may guess I’m fairly sensitive to recognizing it, even when it’s a “natural” running it, but it’s rare. When it’s internalized it sounds natural and there’s a flow to it when I’m watching a guy run Game, but I know what to look for.
Everyone may have +/- Game but how effective they make it and how often they run it makes it a pretty rare occurrence.
The upshot here is that most of the dudes at that level are fucking terrible at game. Like, seriously bad. Past “pretty good bro!” the main ROI with women is just upping your game and self-belief.
So if you’re just an average schlub then there’s probably an equal ROI to developing game and externals to that first extent. Like, having ok game is what will also get you the attention of some 7’s and drunk 6’s etc. just like the other stuff (and to me, that’s where a SHIT TON of the confusion comes from and the ‘bro just get to the gym’)…because at like level 1, it all looks similar.
yeah I mean, FOR ME all it did was reinforce “ya bro now we gotta go out and sarge it up” because it made me understand that
1) true change takes time and dedication
2) results are like a staircase, not like a smooth ramp….so just because you’re putting in the correct work and it seems like you aren’t getting anywhere doesn’t mean you aren’t, it’s just that each step along the way is like, lol idk, binary — so no matter how close you are to flipping a switch, you aren’t going to see the result until that switch is flipped (ex: learning how to get to the social hook point)
3) you can only grow by being BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself (this DQ’s like, so many alleged TRPers)
and like, idk, that motivation was super useful to me. because everyone wants to see you fail. I can’t stress that enough. Like, crabs in a bucket. So you need positive motivation.
Especially if, like me, you were also a fatass (obese) when starting this whole thing. I believe everyone who starts PUA should also start going to the gym. Not for the muscles, not for the strength, but just for the reference experience of how willpower can change your life.
The amount of people who can go from obese to thin and stay thin is….pretty much zero. Go look at the studies. Even less, the amount who go from obese to super fit. What kind of change is that, in terms of how people respond to you passively? In terms of your personal health?
If I had to guess, I’d say 2-3 standard deviations. Closer to 3 than 2.
So, to make that kind of change in your life takes that level of willpower. You pretty much have to unlearn everything with regard to how you eat and live.
And PUA is the same with regard to how you socialize. If you’re starting PUA, you’re more or less going for improving your dating life to the same degree.
Takes the same level of willpower. That’s why so many people wash out. That’s why so many people end up at sluthate.
The longshot isn’t that you could learn how to be much better. The longshot is whether you have what it takes to just go out in the field over and over and subject yourself to what it gives you — nothing but harsh truth.
You’re looking at between half a year to a year before you get any actual success. You’re looking at another year probably before you have a reliable skill set that allows you to more or less consistently pull the hotties. And probably another year before you start being able to pull off hero moves.
Show me someone who says otherwise and I’ll show you someone leaning hard on their looks/FAG (and when you adjust the chicks to their looks level, it won’t look so impressive)…or some other crutch.